it's too hard to be in a relationship

I am having such a difficult time in my current relationship. Yes, I know the man loves me, appreciates me and accepts me. He is good with my boys.
But, for me, that is not enough.
He is always talking about us getting married. Notice, I said "talking" about it. I don't have a ring, so for me nothing is official and in essence, not real yet.
Anyway, he is always talking about us getting married and that bothers me.
For me, there are so many things that bothers me about him, but a couple of my girlfriends say they are minor, in their opinions.
But they also say that it is up to me to decide what I can live with and what I can't.
1. He loves to rent movies. I don't want to sit at anyone's home and watch a movie. I want to go to the movies.
2. He is very close to his mother and his sisters,and his entire family for that matter. That is a very, very good thing. But sometimes he seems to make more of an effort for him than he ever would for me. That bothers the crap out of me. I don't want to go into details here, which kind of explains a previous post about me wishing I was more open. I guess in some way this is my feeble attempt at being more open, especially with myself. He is always telling me things like, "baby, I've been worried about you." or "Baby, I've been thinking about you and praying for you." But I don't see any efforts with those worries, thoughts or prayers. To me, they are just words. I want effort.
3. He tries to avoid conflict at any cost. If he knows I am upset, he will try to avoid me, hoping that I will forget about what ever it was or that it will just blow over. It doesn't!!! In fact, I get even more heated up about that.
4. If I ask him to do something, he quickly does it without so much as a pause. But the thing is I don't want to "have to" ask.
5. I seem to be making more of an effort right now than he does. I could list 20 more things (and believe me I have made that list) but it all boils down to me making more of an effort than he is right now. I hate that. That frustrates me. I'm losing respect for me. I hate it.
My girlfriends say he is a good guy and they are right. He's handsome, loving, makes me laughs, he loves spending time with me and my boys, is helpful around the home and makes me feels as if I were better looking than Halle Berry, Janet Jackson, Tyra Banks or who ever. And honey, that's not easy to do. I'm a big woman, a really, really big woman. I'm a cute woman, too, but nevertheless, I am still a large woman. So I appreciate him.
Regardless of my size, I still think I deserve and am worthy of God's best for me. And nine months into this relationship, I am still wondering if he is it? Am I settling? Can I do better? Why am I so frustrated by this man? As I said, he is always talking about getting married next year and about saving for our home. But some part of me wonders if that all that it is.... just talk.