Motherhood shouldn't mean the end of invitations.
Have you ever had those days where you feel so very alone, though you are surrounded by people?
I've been having those days a lot lately - like no one cares.
That's a sad feeling and I don't want to get into it too much here.
My phone doesn't ring as often as it used to. I don't get asked out as often as I used to, by men or by my women friends. My personal e-mail basket is often empty.
And my life changed so much after I became a parent.
I will admit that in those early days I didn't want people calling me at home. It was a bother when I had a little one to deal with. I, like an idiot, even told some people. Plus, I rarely returned phone calls.
But now no one calls me at home. If it wasn't for the fact that folks invite Dion place, I would not have any place to go.
I love my son and I love spending time with him. But I also miss having grown-up conversations that is not about my son or the kids. I've also been keeping to myself more and more at work.
And I'm a social person who is being anti-social.
I don't like it.
I want a more social life. I really do. But instead of writing about what I want, I need to do something to make it happen.
Any suggestions?
Oh, who am I kidding. I don't think anyone else but me is reading this thing.
Well, at least I'm enjoying it.
posted by Cynthia @ 1:15 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
That's interesting, Cynthia, because I was just reading an infertility blog about how people don't get invited anywhere UNLESS they have kids ... I guess the grass isn't really greener on the other side.
I hope you'll figure out a way to boost your social life. Are there other moms - even organized "play groups" at the local library or playground you could hang out with? Could you start calling the people you told "no calls" in the beginning and tell them you're in a better place for socializing now? Maybe people just don't know you aren't still crazy busy like you were when you first adopted Dion. In the meantime, hang in there!
You know, Emilie, I have looked into moms clubs, but all of the ones I found in my area were stay-at-home moms who seemed to be snobs about staying at home. I want a group of single moms like me who have some of the same struggles. Or at least a group that knows that whether you are a stay at home mom or not, you are still and can still be a good mom.
I read your blog! I just found you through Emilie's blog. What you wrote a few days ago was fascinating--a whole area of loss I had never considered--where are the chat rooms for parents of failed adoptions? Because it happens a lot. We have a friend who was denied her adoption because she ended up conceiving while going through the adoption process. She was happy about the child in her womb, but the loss of the other child (she had pictures, a name, etc) was heartbreaking. In a sense, a miscarriage. In another sense, even more maddening because this child you're meant to have is being raised by someone else.
From what you posted on Emilie's blog, your story sounds fascinating. We're writing a book about infertility and this is a situation that needs to be in our chapter on adoption. We'd love to interview you. If you're open to it, visit our blog at www.stirrup-queens.blogspot.com. Or email me at thetowncriers@gmail.com.
And I'm really enjoying reading your blog.
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